Of all the money that e’er I had
I have spent it in good company.
Oh and all the harm I’ve ever done
alas, it was to none but me.

And all I’ve done for want of wit
to memory now I can’t recall.
So fill to me the parting glass
Good night and joy be to you all.

So fill to me the parting glass
And drink a health whate’er befalls.
Then gently rise and softly call
Good night and joy be to you all.

Of all the comrades that e’er I had
They’re sorry for my going away.
And all the sweethearts that e’er I had
they would wish me one more day to stay.

But since it fell into my lot
that I should rise and you should not
I’ll gently rise and softly call
Good night and joy be to you all.

So fill to me the parting glass
And drink a health whate’er befalls.
Then gently rise and softly call
Good night and joy be to you all.

Uncle Jimmie’s funeral – a sad day for our family; Janine, Peter, Georgie… Pop. 💔

Book day is a fairly new invention that I love. Gone are the days that all children get a bedtime story and lots aren’t encouraged to learn to love reading. It’s so sweet to see the little ones all dressed up going to school too – I needn’t cost much… the charity shops are bursting with costumes for starters. We celebrated at the hub too and Lorna read for us and all the staff dressed up. Maxon won a competition for his poetry too!

Ivy turned 9 and had a little party at the hub. It was sweet and we made a little party table and beth brought the boys in and N & P came.

Another week into taking Mounjaro and not a single change in anything about me. I’m super hungry, have no appetite suppression, no feeling full quickly when I eat – absolutely nothing! So it all got me thinking that rather than cycle up to larger doses to try and get it to work, that I’d throw it in the bin and go on a no-holds-barred diet instead – less than 800 calories a day and REALLY mean business. I’m not keen on weight loss jabs for the masses and also, I just can’t be a sheep, haha. I think these drugs need regulating quickly and only given to those who would be prescribed them for medical issues. FB groups are full of slobby young women and their before and after photos and everyone saying how well they’ve done. “Ten stone off in 4 months and I’m still eating curry.” “I hate water – is it ok if I just drink Coke?” Oh dear. I agree that overweight is unhealthy and awful, but what happened to embracing who we are? Now we can stick a needle in our thigh everything’s changed. The “Big is Beautiful” brigade have ordered their size 10 bikinis and booked a week in Majorca. Another consideration is that this is a newish drug and as you increase the dose, you increase the risk of side effects. Also, when you (traditionally) diet you learn what to eat, to consider calories, portion control and you learn to live with some hunger. Jabs teach nothing. So I’m going it alone and although I’ll probably not lose as much weight as the jabbing masses, I’ll try!

Woohoo! The lift has been installed at the hub! Every little helps. It’s tough having your own business but this is even harder because it’s not a money making venture – it’s a space for our community, our families. It’s giving support and an affordable place to take your little ones. It’s hard work but Beth is constantly thinking of ways to drive us on and I’m gluing plates together, baking cupcakes and wondering how to make a mini florists. Thanks to team Rockits for being incredible and helping every day. xxxx

It’s Mounjaro Monday (week 2 but week 1 proper) and I’ve already lost the needles, haha. MedExpress are sending me some via post. I was ready to roll – yes, I do hate putting chemicals into my body, but after having sackfuls of chemo pumped into me, I think I’ll cope with this for a few months. I’m also sure Pot Noodles are just as dangerous. The mistake many make, especially older women, is that they lose too much weight and end up a ghostly sliver of their former self. I want to lose enough to get me out of the pre-diabetic range, my hips up the stairs and to fit into a generous size 12. Simple. I am already bored with hearing about weight-loss jabs but thought it may be useful to document it…

Tuesday… back on track! Discovered the needles in the fridge (jab needs keeping cold) in a punnet of mushrooms, haha. Don’t worry – they are in tiny sealed pots and defo sterile and none made their way into Carls dinner. I did my jab, bit of a slow process as I was studying the leaflet (rare for me to read any kind of instructions). I had 2.5mg. The lowest.

I had a lovely morning with the boys. Ru never stops talking. He always ends up going over everyone’s ages and relationships to each other. “Who is Grandad? Is he your dad?” The truth would REALLY confuse him, so I explain that we are mum and dad, just like his mum and dad are to him and that this is our family. Ok, so he is your brother?” I realise Ru thinks Glenn is Beth’s brother, haha. “Dins, have you been crabbing much?” Err, no… “Did you know that I’ll buy you a real life pet octopus when I’ve got enough money? We can name it Mr Long Legs.” And on and on. I love it. Rex is into loud music and dancing in his bedroom. He invited me to his party and said I had to dance to five rock songs with him. Ok, I actually had to try and dance properly (which I haven’t done since 1994) – he’s very serious about it and showed me various rock poses. Every now and then he’d have a look at me hurling my stiff arms and legs around and he’d smile a contented, smug little smile, haha.

Fabulous Hearties rehearsal. I honestly think the choir sound balanced! First time ever that I’ve thought that! Having a proper, full time Mezzo group is the main reason for this. We were a bit top heavy and now we’ve also got our little men’s group, we’ve got depth too!

Wednesday. I cannot yet tell I’ve had my jab. No symptoms and I’m as hungry as usual… Thursday… NOTHING whatsoever. Typical – I’m immune to it, haha. It’s supposed to kick in more or less immediately so it’s defo not the right dose for me! I’ve got two more weeks on this dose too. I’m told I’ll be titrated up (sounds painful, haha).

Mounjaro. Yes everyone is doing it – some shouldn’t be, but others, myself included, most definitely should! I tick all the boxes as I’m pre-diabetic, have high blood pressure and count as obese. My joints are killing me because they have to support a few more stone than they are designed to and I take post cancer drugs that also make my joints bad – not a good combination. My cortisol levels must be crazily high as I’m always flying around and somewhat stressed… again, awful for weight issues. All in all I feel rubbish. Ages ago I went to the doctors about this; he must have misread my notes and thought I was six as he talked to me like an idiot. I told him how dreadful I feel and he said, “this is likely due to the pre-diabetes”… err, yes, my point exactly! I do know lots about diet, healthy eating, calories etc. I’ve seen a dietician who may have been qualified as a plumber, haha… I was then contacted by the diabetes nurse who told me I needed to go to a drop in clinic once a week. For what? To be told what I already know? To make my life even more chaotic? Thank you, but no. I’ve now got my weight loss jabs and started last Monday. I’ve ordered via a company who are linked with my doctors surgery and very careful about issuing the medication. Beth is one of dozens I know who are using the jab – she was a couple of stone overweight and quickly knocked it off. She did feel very sick when she started and has stuck to the lowest recommended dose (2.5mg) although they state 5mg is a maintenance dose and cycle “patients” up to (a high!) 15mg if needs be.

I decided to start on half the lowest dose because Beth and I tend to react to medications in the same way…and I’ve got to work and can’t be sick for a couple of days. The Mounjaro is in a kind of pen that looks like a sharpie. You add on a tiny needle and turn the end dial until you get to the desired dose – 60 tiny clicks equals 2.5mg. I did 30 clicks – 1.25mg. BTW this isn’t common knowledge or recommended. This mini dose hasn’t touched me, so I will start proper next Monday! Wish me luck!

I took a photo of an ornamental astronaut and noticed that I’m reflected in it – I look just like Kathy Bates in the film, Misery, as she leans over James Caan’s bed, haha. I decided to google Kathy Bates and see if we really are twins… but no, it seems Kathy has been at the Mounjaro too and a slither of her former self.

If I do get some weight off I can buy a nice soft pink cardigan without fearing I look like a Kent Korker.

The Rockits finally reunited a couple of weeks back… “reunited and it feels so good! Reunited ‘cause we understood. Theres one perfect fit and, Sugar, this one is it! We both are so excited ‘cause reunited!” So much love at the hub as more and more lovely Rockits gathered. I was so touched – honestly, had no idea so many would turn up. Nearly all of them did! Beth laughed at me because I’d only expected a handful in and hadn’t cleared enough space, haha. It was great! Tonight we are back at the hub for a choir night too!

From little acorns…on Wednesday, I watched Beth teaching a small group of girls how to sing, Defying Gravity. They were mostly aged six, bless. They managed a harmony line too and sang with such spirit and determination. I could see their little bodies working so hard to push out those big sounds. I watched Beth encouraging and leading them. Music has been a huge part of her entire life and made her the woman she is today. Then I think back to how I discovered music – an elderly neighbour had a baby grand piano and I played it nonstop every day from the age of eight. I wonder if we’d have all been different if I hadn’t fallen in love with that piano? There may have been no choirs… no baby groups, who knows!

I’ve been dreaming up new role play rooms for the hub. I don’t get as much time as I used to now I’m baking, doing the cafe, choirs and kids but Caroline (as usual) painted the area beautifully and spent ages making up “props” I’d asked for – and I must say, they are beautifully made. The back wall which is currently orange with a sunset is going to be blue… running from spacey skies into three new role play areas, each with a simple house shape painted on the wall panels. First completed is a 1950s inspired house complete with polka dot wingback chairs! I love it because it reminds me of a simple childhood – the good life. I added an old Fisher Price record player the same as Ollie had… it’s so cute. This is where Liz’s handmade cushions are and we have a real Bagpuss (thanks Caroline!). I’ve found a fabric newspaper too. Next up is a school themed area with a rainbow colour scheme and then a construction area with foam bricks haha. The next BIG change will be when the current zoo area becomes an under the sea paradise, with a giant octopus (thanks Liz!) and a wonderful mermaid lagoon.

As I drove home from Dorking I listened to the top 40. There wasn’t one single band in it! Lots of solo artists, lots of collabs, a crazy amount of rubbish dance music. Rewind twenty years to the 1980s and bands accounted for about 3/4s of the number 1’s.