Mothering Sunday. We’re not all mums…but we all have a mum and us women all have this wonderful capacity to care and nurture and that is always worth celebrating. I thought of my lovely mum, my Nan, the should be mums, my mates, my daughter and daughter-in-law’s – the women in our lives that helped us grow up and the ones who show up even now we’re pretty ancient. We are great at taking care of each other, not just our kids, so that’s what we should honour. I’m incredibly lucky to have not only been able to have three children, but also to still be here for them and all my little boys. I’m more aware of this with each passing year. So to all the women in my life, the mother-figures everywhere, let’s rise up and say, ‘Cheers!’ Here’s to another year (please) of caring and sharing. I thought this as I looked around the room at the Rockits smiley faces tonight – so many amazing women…and what a great night! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Rufus asked Beth if Jesus was visiting on Easter Sunday, as “Jesus is coming back.” The new Avatar movie cost around $500 million to produce. I find it hard to get my head around this kind of thing. I guess the money needed to produce a movie wouldn’t exist if movies weren’t made, so it’s not as though it’s coming out of another pot. It just feels frivolous, especially when I’m laying in bed wondering what we can do to raise a few more hundred pounds for charities who are trying to save lives. Still, we do our best. We rehearse, we work at making our events better, we raise what we can.

Beth’s new Rockits Glee Club has filled her with…glee! It’s a small group of 8-14’s and from what Beth’s told me, we can all soon retire and they can take over. **Note for Sarah… do NOT burn your sequin top and shred your folders, this is a joke. Like myself, Beths number one thing to do has always been, by far, something musical (not including eating Patisserie Valerie strawberry cake). My younger years were spent either in my bedroom, or down at Ernie’s playing the baby grand.** At home, my little record player was on repeat endlessly – sorry, mum. Sparks, Abba, Kate Bush – there was a Bowie phase (but only for a few of his songs), a Dusty Springfield year (SO many dance routines, haha), Elton, Kraftwerk, even a Gerry Rafferty summer. I don’t listen to much music now; partly because I’m older (and like many things, our way to be just changes) and partly because I am always singing something or other. Tonight we sang, Yesterday. It’s SO pretty. ** I have just been offered this very same baby grand as it’s been with Ernie’s grandson. I couldn’t take it when I was 18 and it was left to me when Ernie died. Now, I also don’t have the room to take it. It’s a shame as it was so special to me. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Liz M. and I took a trip to see ABBA, Voyage, on Sunday. I am expecting to get an award from Benny and Bjorn soon for having been more times than even they have. It was my third time (no, I am not a crazed fan) and surprisingly, each audience has been totally different. First time, last July, shortly after it opened, the audience stood throughout and danced and yelled. Second time, the seated audience maybe stood for a couple of songs and were generally much quieter, but last night, the audience were back on their feet, ready for a party. It’s such a brilliant concept; so clever and beautifully put together. I have enjoyed it thoroughly each time, it really hits the spot, especially when the ABBAtars sing, I still have faith in you. I just love the opening song – will be using it for sure.

Most of us lead busy lives, I certainly do. What I think though is that busy doesn’t mean your life is actually the right kind of full. Doing loads of housework and rushing around after a family IS tough, but are you actually FULfilled? Give yourself an honest interview and ask yourself if you’re truly happy? Are you honest in telling yourself and your nearest and dearest, exactly what makes you tick? Have you reached your goals? As the years pass more quickly (definitely as we age), have you made the most of them? What makes you feel complete and happy? I’m not sure I feel complete, but for me, I have to believe that I can make a difference in some small way. Occasionally I feel I do and then the next day, it’s back to the drawing board and on to something new. I think it makes me a rubbish friend because I spread myself thin trying to do my bit, but without that, I feel a bit pointless. My kids, my boys are what make me happy too. I don’t know exactly what my goals are, but I do know that I’ve not reached as far as I can go. Speaking of which, I was working on a song yesterday and realised I can now sing down to a low Bb on a croaky morning. That’s SO low. I expect to grow a beard next. My top range isn’t quite what is what, but I can just about manage 3 octaves.

Sibelius. I’ve now used it for about two years and I am constantly (usually accidentally) finding new tricks it can do, shortcuts and all kind of things to speed me up. Usually, to transpose, up/down, I open the notation screen up and go from there. Silly me – just highlight the passage and up/down arrows. Over two years, that little shortcut may have saved me an entire week of my life, haha. Woohoo! Another BRILLIANT new find is, Aldi fillet steak. Delicious. A year ago, I loathed Aldi, but now I often buy meat and fish there. I continue to cook healthy meals, nothing processed and loads of veg., but I am still so bloody fat. I blame this on the toasties in, Meeting Point.

Tuesday was an odd day. Rex was here as usual, which meant an eventful morning, full of tap dancing, singing ‘The Lion Sleeps Tonight’ and as always, lots of water and food colouring in various pots and then kinetic sand in our hair (but mainly in the rug) and a break for ice cream, Wotsits, half a sausage roll and a Kinder egg. Sounds like my diet, but this is what Rex had, haha. Then I had some news that wasn’t great (but I’m brewing a plan (Afterglow?) to solve this) and then the awful news that young Oli’s cancer has spread. Then my heart really sank. God knows what I cooked for dinner, my mind was totally elsewhere. Things do NOT happen for a reason. Oh dear – how I hate all those motivational posts on FB. You are NOT solely in charge of your own destiny. No one decides which child gets cancer, or who can’t have a baby, or whose boyfriend just drops dead at 35 from an aneurism. It’s the lottery of life. Having cancer in my 50’s was something I could accept – but at 15, it’s the cruelest blow possible. I feel so heartbroken for Oli and his family and if I prayed, I’d pray for his trial drugs to make him well. The lovely Hearties really get the need for our fundraising – it’s not just about the money raised, it’s about community, care and hope too. We must solve this! We MUST work out how to stop this happening. 😢😢

‘Alice, Darling’ was an odd film to watch, it brought back so many memories. I know that situation, I know those feelings, I understand how a person can feel stolen. What makes a person force themselves to remain in a relationship they loathe; the most unhealthy, damaging relationship possible? God knows. And when you escape, you’re actually damaged goods and the thought of being with anyone ever again who may also trap you in a cage, is terrifying. So, I never took that risk again because I know how it is to lose many years, your freedom, your family, your friends. My life now is somewhat unusual, but actually, it’s perfect for the plump, wheezy 58 year old me.

We woke to snow yesterday, but it cleared quickly, with no chance of building a snowman… it was the coldest day of the year. I’m feeling a bit cold after hearing our 2023 Eurovision entry by Mae Muller. What a complete load of trash and what a let down after smiley Sam Ryder! We defo won’t be singing Mae’s poor attempt at Rockits! RIP Chaim Topol; not just the BRILLIANT Tevye in Fiddler, but so much more. There was something about him that I really liked. Jane T. and family have left The George in Robertsbridge, after 17 years! What a huge thing for them all – a complete way of life for so many years and now, a new, undiscovered one ahead of them. This is a bit of an odd post, sorry. Xxxx

So many songs on the go, including, ‘We don’t talk about Bruno,’ from Encanto. This song literally took the world by storm; I wondered why. Current songwriting sensation Lin-Manuel Miranda wrote the music – he is a bit of a creative genius (although not my cup of tea) and he also wrote, Hamilton (which is not about F1). It broke all records for Disney songs and topped the charts for ages. I reckon social media helped. Kids now access things with a click and a swipe (Rufus can hack my Amazon account and buy anything in the space of time it takes me to sneeze), I digress…The Bruno song went viral on TikTok. Then there’s it’s Latin roots – it’s a bit salsa, a bit, cha cha. Mostly, I think the subject matter helped; it’s what we are spoon fed today – a black sheep, a shunned outsider. Speaking of which…Kids at Homewood staged a rally over issues with pupil toilets and uniform policy. Absolutely ludicrous and shouldn’t be permitted. I liked one of the comments on FB which said, “suck it up.” Too right. Kids CANNOT choose how they wish to live and what they wish to wear. That is down to their parents. Too many people are wrongly given too many rights and kids need to learn respect and accept a healthy level of discipline, or else our future generations are doomed.

Annoyingly, I have done something to my back and am having to keep fairly still. This is why I don’t recommend housework, haha. I kept getting odd twinges as I changed the beds and cleared up and then, bent down to pick up wet washing and that was that! Ouch! So frustrating as I had to cancel a session (which I HATE doing) but just can’t do much at the moment. This also means I can’t appear on Dancing on Ice tomorrow!

While having to keep still, I watched, ‘Fleishman is in Trouble.’ It’s a miniseries and I just loved it – I actually felt sad when I got to the end, just because there’d be no more of it! It got better and better, with so many twists and turns and I found the narrative that runs through it quite profound at times. It’s not until the last couple of episodes that it gets REALLY good (and you’ll be a bit shocked to see you had it all wrong!). I binged it; but now wish I’d savoured it a bit more. This is what happens when I get a family bag of Maltesers.

Last Sunday, we had a family dinner at Chequers, High Halden. Excellent Sunday roast – definitely recommend. The boys were so funny. Ma and Pa are now having a break in sunny Tenerife. Rexy has had a bad cough and chest again.

I’m loving the music from Daisy Jones & The Six! It’s very Fleetwood, interesting. There’s a few things I can take or leave, like sweet potatoes, Lorraine Kelly and holidays abroad, but I love a good series with a musical theme. I’m working on a few BITS for a little Hearties fundraiser for Beth’s SEN room and also a couple of BOBS for…BOB (Best of British). Today, it’s Nights in White Satin. As a child I thought it was called, Knights in White Satin. I imagined Joan of Arc going into battle in a nice frilly blouse, haha. Ru is at this hilarious age now, I glean all I can from the boys. Ru and Rex had their first theatre trip and saw, Hey Duggee, at the Marlowe, Canterbury. It was a great success! Another huge success is Beth’s SEN room, JustGiving fundraiser. I am so touched by the kindness, generosity and support shown by many for this and their very positive comments too. ❤️

I also did the Sheeran song, Bad Habits – I have loads, haha. I’m messy because I’m always in a rush, even when I’m actually not, haha. I hum constantly because my head is jammed full of songs. I interrupt conversations (again, because I’m in a rush), but I’m trying hard not to do this. I pick my phone up far too often, even though I know that after a while it stresses me out. I spend too much (of the little I have) on the kids and am rubbish with money – I’ve never cared in the least about it, or material things. I eat too much because I’m greedy by nature. I worry about stupid things when I wake up in the middle of the night to find my brain has delivered a bulk download of things I prefer not to be reminded about. That day, Mum had seen someone from our past and it started a conversation and a quick read of the ‘X Files,’ which makes truly sickening reading.

It’s a strange world. All that’s been on the news for weeks is the story of a missing woman, Nicola Bulley. Her body has now been found – no suspicious circumstances. Very, very sad, BUT many people go missing every day; they just aren’t such a good news story. 40,000 people just died in the Syria/Turkey earthquake and that has occupied less time on the news here. Odd.