I’ve not blogged for months and I’m contemplating cancelling my account. I don’t write as much because I’m busier and my days are very often the same. My weeks used to be made up of spontaneous outings and things that were worth writing down. I do still have great times and lovely things happening, but in a snap the weeks flown by and I’ve moved on and forgotten about it!

I was complaining to my cousin about feeling very under par and she sent me a video she’d found on YouTube. It was a bit boring and far too long and it took the vlogger an hour to say what should have taken a few minutes. Patience has never been my strong point. It was interesting though! The vlogger said that if you feel tired, fed up… unhappy, make three simple changes to your life and you may just start to feel better. The first was PUT YOUR MOBILE PHONE AWAY. I am going to do this at various times during the day. I struggle with keyboard warriors attacking those or things I care greatly about. It just winds me up and I waste my time replying to anonymous imbeciles and end up stressed. I persist when I need to resist. Imagine all those wasted hours every day, added up to make a huge block of never to be replaced time. Don’t even get me started on the idiots who think that unfriending someone is some kind of punishment – like a public flogging in the village square, haha. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE. Again – so true. I waste time dealing with people who drain me. Kind, positive, inspiring, joy bringers are what we need. They’ll help you chase your dreams… even the crazy ones! Your true Norths. No negative drains. The third point is a bit dull… GET MORE ACTIVE. Luckily, she didn’t suggest actual exercise, but rather longer walks and more fresh air. Three little changes.

I’m chuckling away to myself. Beth is used to me due to the fact I’m her mother and she knows how I think. I was just telling her about a song I’m about to arrange and I said, “I’m gonna explode the bridge.” She knows what I mean.. I’ll make the bridge in that song HUGE and I’ll push the harmonies wide apart to do so. If I want a song to sound more choral, I put more distance in the bottom and put the uppers close. I may not do anything as I should, but it seems to work for us.

Oh my goodness… I loved the documentary, Immediate Family (Prime). I never heard a bass player better than Leland Sklar. I am in absolute awe of these amazing musicians. In the mid 70s we were back living in the UK and I was listening to the music here; I missed so much American music that was brilliant! Xx

I believe that some things happen in our lives that can change us forever. Not necessarily in bad ways… but change us they certainly will. Pivotal moments that alter the paths we were on. Obviously, loss tops the list, but there are many things that change us. For me, having a brush with cancer, a few years on a relationship rollercoaster, the annus horribilis and the loss of good friends drained a lot of joy out of me, but I’m still smiling (although not enough that you can see my wobbly teeth). We are hitting lots of three year anniversaries right now – Noah’s birthday, Beth’s anniversary, Nige disappearing, Carl resurfacing and the hub is about to celebrate its third birthday too!

Ollie and family came to stay for a few days and it was lovely. The boys are growing up so beautifully – they are properly bonded with me now and plonk themselves on my lap quicker than Hugo can, haha. I’m SO proud of all my little (and big) brood.

A couple of weeks ago, I started watching, Jane the Virgin. It’s quite crazy; a bit Ugly Betty, very soapy, but it’s basically a telenovela – featuring telenovelas! I’m quite a determined binge watcher… but this was a BIG job. It took me back to lockdown when I watched all 15 series of Greys Anatomy (I know lots about medicine now). According to bingeclock.com (for serious tv addicts/insomniacs) it’ll take a few days to watch all episodes of the Jane series…. But I did it! All 100 episodes and I loved it and so did my colourful imagination! A great love triangle (even better than Moonlighting), sad bits, funny bits, lots of drama, a bit of singing, a super close family (like mine) and crazy plot twists. What was a nice touch was that chapter 99 was about the series, the actors and all those involved spoke about the process. Give it a go!

As time has gone on, it’s interesting to see the impact weight loss jabs are having. I have to say that I’m so pleased they’re being made more expensive – it will put some off who really shouldn’t be on them anyway. Some are abusing them, loving the feeling of “thin,” so they just keep craving a few more pounds off week after week. I am very pro weight loss jabs for all those with medical problems, including obesity. I hope that in years to come this kind of medication will help children like our Rufus who has PICA (the name comes from the Latin for Magpie) and problems associated with food and non-food items. I’d love to be thinner and dislike the blob that I am – but taking the jab set alarm bells off inside me. Maybe post cancer I just hate the idea of drugs and jabs? I developed a hatred for them, especially PICC line flushes which always left pear-drop fumes in my mouth. I look back thirty years to when models and celebs were painfully thin and I thought those days were long gone. Sadly, no. A load of skeletal remains grace the red carpets once again and these bones are the role models for the younger generation! They used to tell us to love our bodies and embrace our curves… but that was when dieting was hard.

Bond is going very well as are rehearsals!

Well, I’m still alive. Incredibly, Beth was invited to Walmer Castle to meet King Charles. This is not one of my usual jokes… she really did! Community Champions from within the Cinque Ports were gathered at the castle for a cup of tea and a moment with the King. Beth said he was extremely smiley, gentle and very friendly and asked lots of questions about Rockits. She had been worried about curtsying but there was no need as the King shook her hand instantly. What a wonderful thing to happen. I’m very proud of Butsy and all those who support the hub and everything we do. I was due to collect the boys from school but Beth made it back in time, so I stood down. She was excited to tell them about her grand adventure, but instead they cried as they expected a trip to the sweet shop with me and one said, “well, Paddington Bear had tea with the Queen.” Ha! Rockits Sensory also won two further major awards from the National Association of Play Centres. Our trophy shelf is coming along nicely…

In late June, the Hearties sang at the Sinden Theatre and raised well over 2k for the Celia Blakey Cancer Unit at WHH. It was a really good show, full of new songs that I really enjoyed working on. The Hearties sang like a dream and knew they sounded GREAT! I love it when I see them come to life, heads held high. With every event they have improved and really are something unique and special. I had the usual panic about ticket sales; I hate this! Every time we have an event we hit this horrible patch and Caroline and I sit and pour over ideas to sell more tickets – or discuss the prospect of cancelling the event if sales don’t pick up. Suddenly, lots of tickets sold, but there are always a few weeks of uncertainty.

I had one of my best ever Birthdays! I spent the day with my family and as it was a Tuesday, I had Hearties in the evening. A great day! Earlier in the week I went with Beth and Caroline to Mamma Mia, the Party, at the O2. I’ve been many years ago and it was even better this time! Such a fabulous interactive event. You are seated in what looks like a big Greek taverna. While you tuck into several courses of a lovely meal, there’s singing and dancing and a little acting going on all around the tables. Do go – it’s fantastic!

Went with the lovely cafe crew to Chinatown for a fabulous meal at Royal China and then on to see Book of Mormon. Parts of it were hilarious, parts a bit juvenile and some surprisingly good songs!

I’ve had a good hunt but just can’t find my inner sprite… I lost it some time ago. Maybe sprites shrink as we get older, so it’s not lost… it’s just withered away to something resembling a walnut. Is that it? Will I never again feel really super excited and inspired about something? Does 60+ life only simmer? Simmering is ok I guess.

Good film: The friend. Film. Bill Murray and Naomi King Kong.

Things I’m bored with: Drip cakes, Pentatonix, spider season, wobbly teeth, hearing about fat loss jabs, White Stuff.

Blogging has fallen by the wayside for a few weeks. Not enough time to write it, not enough interesting stuff to talk about (my days are often similar) and when I do have something great to tell… I forget about it by the next day and I’m busy doing something else, haha (lots of brilliant things happening though**). Busy is great, except that it zaps my creativity. If I’m going to sit and arrange a new song, I need a blank canvas to splodge ideas on… ideas that eventually become a finished picture. I do have my stylised bits; a trusted palette of floaty harmonies (“butterflies”), spins and intervals that I fall back on etc., but I can’t even begin to form something worthwhile when I’ve only got two hours, my neighbour is cutting his hedges, Hugo’s pulling the carpet up in his attempt to get in my studio and messages are pinging up constantly. I’ve just added new parts to, Ordinary World – I’m hoping that now it’s souped up it’ll suit us better in our current form, but I fear it’s going to end up on the subs bench! I realised just how busy I am when I set my timer midweek for a sit down. Twelve minutes. I sprang up out of my seat after eight! Hearties had an event and the hub needed me. I’m feeling disillusioned. I’ve slogged away with the community choirs (and events for our community) for sixteen years and still (have to) worry about ticket sales for an event! It’s crazy! The Hearties are brilliant… we do great things for charities too. Why aren’t we recognised for who we are and what we do?

Insomnia watches: I do enjoy the new, Sex and the City series… oh, the locations, the chalky coloured lounges, enormous bowls of polished fruit, the beautiful pastel flowers, the clothes… and the characters (its not as good without Samantha). It also makes me examine my wrinkly hands and bitten nails and get the hand cream out. I’m even thinking to buy a pair of earrings (as a rule I don’t like or suit jewellery). Im still in a bad spell of not sleeping, so also watched (again) White Lotus (very good!), Sweetpea (macabre and quirky), new season Ginny & Georgia (American trash but perfect for 3am viewing without needing glasses) and best of all, new season American Sweethearts (If you know me, you’ll know I’m a bit obsessed with anything dance based). I liked the film Goodrich; Michael Keaton is a little over-surgeried, but the film is simple and quite sweet. Speaking of over-surgeried, I even watched Olivia Atwoods series (who is she?!??). I ended up shouting at the imbeciles who were undergoing buccal fat removal, getting fake dimples and BBLs… what the hell has happened to the human race? It’s so sad to see self-obsession like this. How will children learn to love themselves and our differences? Why can’t we nurture a generation who want to be talented artists/musicians/writers… a generation who are passionate about our planet and creating a peaceful world? So sad.

June into July has been very hot and sticky. The cats are loving it and now we’ve stopped Hugo escaping, they are allowed in the garden when they like. The cat fencing did have a tiny gap in it and he’d worked out how to lay horizontally on the top of the fence and roll his body through the little gap – he’s better than Tom Cruise at stunts and agility. Suki spends her time chasing flies and smashing things, as her siamese eyes seem a bit skewwhiff. I saw this amazing cat tree/bed on SaTC and Carl bought them it! It’s cream and rattan and very tasteful.

** Brilliant things can be found in next blog! P.S. “Fur babies”… please, just say, CATS!

Something I often say, is don’t sweat the small stuff. This is because it’s only the big stuff that matters and is worth your time. I often forget and briefly slip into a rant or waste my energy where I shouldn’t, but then Rufus will be talking to me and I’ll stop everything and fix on his beautiful blue eyes and I feel like the luckiest person on the planet. That’s how I feel with all my boys – you need to give your whole self to them; we reap what we sow.

Music is so powerful. I went to see the Simon and Garfunkel Story at Folkestone. Oh my God, it was brilliant. The music of my childhood (Vancouver 1969) and the music my parents loved so much; I watched them sat beside me, singing along and nodding in unison. Hazy Shade of Winter…I could feel my soul absorbing it all; I held on to my chair in case I drifted up to the ceiling like a helium balloon. In today’s world we race forward, and we’ve forgotten how it is to just be; to sit on the bed, close your eyes and listen… “Tom, get your plane right on time. I know your part’ll go fine.” Bliss. Who wants the 21st Century, where everything’s fake, where being unfriended on FB will leave some with PTSD? Where social media likes are more important than actually sitting with your mates in a sunny garden and where life for many is one huge artificial performance. That’s not progress. It’s some kind of hell.

I’m so very, very glad that my generation still know how to enjoy each others REAL company and are loyal, caring and generous friends… “can you imagine us years from today, sharing a park bench quietly?” Well, yes I can. Today I went with my friends, Rosina, Caroline and Sarah, to Roy’s 70th birthday party. It was such a lovely party too and as Roy thanked his guests for coming, he said (with a tear in his eye and a wobble in his voice) how lucky he was to have all his friends and family around him. The world doesn’t need angry protest, it needs softer hearts, just like Roy’s, bless him. If real kindness and compassion were at the root of everything we do, the world would be a better place. We have to always remember how it was to dance to Cecilia with our mums in the kitchen and listen to, Bridge Over Troubled Water, in the car with Dad. What a beautiful life it was.

Happy 70th birthday Roy. You are one of the most genuinely good men that I’ve met in my life and I know everyone thinks the world of you. Thank you for all you do to help the choirs and the hub and thank you for being a wonderful friend. Cheers! Xx

I’m still stuck on just slightly over a stone of lost weight. Stuck. Still trying so hard but the scales not moving. I was determined to prove that we can all lose weight without the jabs – but it’s bloody hard and takes more willpower than all the pomegranate arils (seedy bits) that I’ve eaten during this time. Anyway, the more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap and the less likely you are to be invited to run a marathon. These things matter to me, haha.