How can you lose a bag of monkeys? I purchased six and they’ve vanished… they should now be swinging in the new Rockits (role play) Safari Park… at the moment we’ve just two… dangling side by side, haha. It reminds me of a Disney film, as the animals are all together – a sloth just above a tigers head and a snake about to squeeze a panda to death, haha. As the days pass, the hub comes together. The newly built lobby is painted, a spaceship has landed in reception and the sensory and SEN rooms are finished. The boys came in last night and both cried when they had to leave… at least they love it there! We are trying to keep everyone out until our big reveal next Friday – just six days to go…gulp. Honestly though, it’s a magical place to be.

Tenterden High Street looks beautiful. The new trend for chalk painted shop windows has swept through the town and it’s never looked prettier. I popped into Zion Church to see little Max in the school nativity. He was Joseph. Loved that he swayed energetically through all the songs. We then looked at the Christmas market that’s on right now. I’m not a huge fan. I appreciate it brings business to the town, but it’s a commercial market, brought in by a big company (Zoom Events) who make a lot of money out of it. They charge extortionate amounts for the pitches (on our high street) and the stallholders come from all over with their (seasonal) greasy burgers and candy-floss. Nothing local or Christmassy about it. I’d rather it just be late night opening for our shops, with their wares on tables outside their premises, with some carolling and chestnuts for sale. Bah humbug. I’m glad the weathers not great today as I may actually be able to park close to my home – I was not happy last night to find our parking area rammed with double parked cars – I had to park miles away and struggle up the hill in the freezing cold with my shopping.

I polled the Hearties and found out what they’d like to sing for Wintersong Cabaret. Nothing they jointly dislike, but a few that many would like to sing. I’m burning the midnight oil and working on a traditional version of Ave Maria.

With the demise of Claude and Maude in 2022, life never returned to ‘normal.’ I never returned to normal. It left a big hole in my life, which still feels incomplete. I have definitely reached a crossroads and I need to decide which way I turn. Which road will bring back what is missing? I need to feel more fulfilment and I need to find my old self. It’s not going to be easy…. I’m hoping I love running the little hub cafe. No idea if it will be busy as it’s only for those using the hub. I always wanted a cafe, but it’s something I knew was just a little dream thing and not something practical. Who knows what this will become.

Apologies for the radio silence, but we’re attempting to pull off a Christmas miracle at the new hub. I’m hoping the magic of Christmas is floating around Tenterden and will help our paint dry quickly, our jungle canopy to stay up and the dust to disappear, haha. It’s stressful at times and we can get a bit snappy, but we’ve got (limited edition!) Gold digestive biscuits and tea on tap to keep us going. So many unexpected expenses and extra work along the way. We hope to have sneak previews from Friday next week, but we won’t be fully operational at this time. We then close until our grand opening on Friday 29th.

Some days, I worry so much about the world and my boys growing up in it, but then I see so much kindness around us too. So many times I’ve gone to collect something for the hub and the seller donates it and won’t take a penny. There are choir members handing us bags of Christmas lights and bits; not to mention the eighteen who have volunteered to help man the little Rockits cafe. Jane somehow managed to get an entire camper van full of beautiful Christmas trees and decs for the hub and kindly brought it all over. Rosina has been in doing her bits with foliage and Caroline appears twice daily (and goes home to warm up and sort her cats out in between her stints) and Dad is doing all sorts and mum is often there too. Glenn and his pals arrive like the cavalry every now and then and ask what needs doing…a brave question right now. We fight over their services and get them sawing and hammering before they’ve even taken their coats off. Lounges, the new restaurant taking over the ground floor below us, have huge teams of workers in, haha. Not us – we are family! We are community. I love that community enables us to help people in a way we can’t as individuals. Thanks too to Sarah W who has been holding the Rockits fort and sorted lots of bits too.

We have been totally blown away by donations from Rockits and Hearties and of course the parents from the Rockits hub and local families and businesses. I hope everyone who has contributed in some way knows how grateful we are and that without that help we would have been unable to make this very big move. I hope you all pop in and see what we have all jointly created… this is true community. I hope you all feel a sense of pride when you see what a difference this new hub will make to so many. It’s an incredible thing we’ve jointly created.

Today, the current Rockits hub closed and we now move things over and continue creating the new hub. It’s bloody big!!!

This week, we were able to accept a booking for fifteen to come from a SEND school in South London. They have hardly any funds available and had been searching for somewhere to bring their children for a Christmas treat. They found us. Our goal has always been to have enough income to be able to offer some free sessions too.

The new Rockits hub has been without power until yesterday which made life hard. Wesley’s boys are putting in the new lights with Carl and all the new sockets are being installed. Bodgit and Scarper are doing a great job! Caroline (Scarper) is painting non-stop day and night (bless her) and Dad (Bodgit) is doing a bit of everything. He put up the jungle mural with Ma and it looks lovely. I think 24/7 about how we can pull it all together (the Planet Earth side that is, with role play zoo and cafe), I source what we need, go and get it, or order it online (Amazon and Temu are fighting over me). I love doing it – I know when it’s finally done that it’ll be great, but now, it’s all a bit scary. Beth has everything in hand, but it’s a very huge task and an emotional rollercoaster. She’s chosen a fabulous soft play package and is pushing things on the best she can. The reception area is being built right now too – it looks like a spaceship. The lobby is being plastered and will then be decorated and have light strips above…. Today, Sunday, ma and Pa were in cleaning and then I worked with Caroline and Rosina. It’s a bit cold but we pop in Cafe Nero for warm drinks. We soldiered on and sorted out leaves, tree trunks, toys and play equipment and made plans. There is so much of US in the hub, our family and Rockits family – it’s real. There isn’t the money to just wave a wand and everything be done – instead we have to build it with our hands and our imagination and that actually gives it character and a heart and soul and makes it less clinical. It feels like home.

Went to see Abba Voyage AGAIN as I took Cousin Deb. I’ve not seen as much of her as I’d have liked but we had time for a good chat in between watching the show and having a matter and a bite to eat at Stratford. We have a similar outlook on so many things and both love food… amerena cherries, pasta… she talks as much as me… which is a lot, haha. It was my least favourite visit to see Voyage. It was very rowdy and at times the audience were louder than the show… so poor sound quality.

There’s a programme on iPlayer about four mothers dealing with their autistic sons. It’s heartbreaking. It’s called, I am not Okay. The amazing mothers show their nonstop struggles to cope with their son’s very aggressive outbursts and highly complex needs. They all need so much help and yet get virtually none. It’s maddening that the system fails them completely. We treat immigrants far better than we treat our own. Also, resources are stretched to breaking point because half the world and his dog now think they’ve got autism and make waiting lists longer.

Lovely rehearsal yesterday with Hearties. We’ve got cabaret more or less in the bag. Thomas returns to do a number this year!

I think it’s so important to be around people who are good for us and for each other. Caring, honest, reliable, genuine people. Lately we’ve lost a few Friday Hearties who tick all of those boxes. They stepped down for various reasons, but mainly because their lives have changed and they need to head in a new direction. One of these ladies, Tish, had been in the choir for over thirteen years – isn’t that quite remarkable? She said, “age has started to take its toll,” and I know that’s the case for many of our ladies. I was 44 when this started and I’m now a slightly deaf, 60!!! Anyhow… below, is a message for Tish posted on the choirs group chat. “…You will be missed by us all. We will still have so many wonderful memories to tune into; shows, outfits, singing with the stars and a full orchestra, Rochester Cathedral, our own Eurovision in Tenterden, Wembley Stadium and of course not forgetting The London Paladium. Who’d have thought it 12/13 years ago? The music, the laughter and the joy of sharing something special with friends. You will always be a part of all of that. I hope that whatever you get up to that you have fun in creating even more memories…”. I couldn’t say it any better and for me, the best part of this has been sharing the years with my choir friends. It’s also brave to acknowledge and accept that changes have to happen in our lives. Everything ends.

Whilst cruising on YouTube for songs with a wintery vibe (I searched, snow, ice, December and frozen) I stumbled across a brilliant medley of Madonna’s Frozen/Like a Prayer, by Labyrinth. That got me thinking… so I cut up the songs in their original form, fiddled around on the piano and felt quite inspired. Next, I got our tracks genius, Jonathan, to put together what I had given him. He did a lovely job… then I continued adding further layers of bells, to make it a little work of art. I literally have ticking clocks and bells ringing in my head all the time now. No idea if my arrangement for the choir will work (haha), but the track is so lovely. When the chorus kicks in it makes me bop up and down on my chair. In my head the Tenorettes are a kettle drum on this one…

Loved the docuseries, The Tragically Hip. I knew nothing about this Canadian band, never heard of them, but did enjoy it! If you can plod through the first couple of episodes (the musics not great), it does get very good. Then there’s Midas Man, the story of Epstein and then, if you want to watch something slightly creepy (with a disappointing end), there’s, The Watcher, on Netflix. I rather liked it – it was a bit, Rosemarys Baby as it had Mia Farrow in it!

I am very much against the idea of positive affirmations. If I know one thing, it’s that the online self-help gurus who tell us to look in a mirror and tell ourselves we’re beautiful, successful, will be happy etc., are talking complete nonsense. There’s more chance that Santa is real! I could tell myself for a month of Sundays that I will be happy, but unless things drastically change, I won’t be. That’s life! Life’s a jigsaw of so many things, but if you lose a couple of pieces or put a piece in the wrong place, it’s never gonna work!

It’s been so busy that I’ve totally lost track of time. I had no idea that last Sunday it actually was Sunday and that I was due to be going to see Nicks show with Ollie! I had been to Ashford collecting hub purchases from Marketplace and was actually stood in Aldi when the penny dropped that it was Sunday (aaaah!)!!! I messaged Ollie, acted cool and asked if we were still going… show starts in two hours!! I rushed home, tidied myself up and flew back out and asked Siri to take me to the Arden Theatre in Faversham. I drove past Nigel’s old house in Smarden; I saw his ghost in the garden, still barbecuing the mounds of meat he bought for a family party one year. I drove on through Goudhurst – the most haunted village in Kent.

Nick and his Lamplighters Ensemble treated us to a wonderful whimsigoth evening set in a graveyard. I could see just how much work had gone into it and it also ran without a single hitch… never easy when it’s a one-off production. Nick was accompanied by a mini orchestra as he sang songs about the dead – well, true stories of those who had died in very strange ways! It was all very ‘Nick’ – his niche.

Halloween is a big deal for all the boys. I remember dressing up as a skunk, aged 5, when we lived in Vancouver. My bestie had the same costume on (twin skunks) and a sparkler sent her up in flames – Dad rolled her on the grass to put out the fire! Our boys all had lots of Halloween fun. Ru and Rex arrived to trick or treat (they only do this at my house) dressed as a Skeleton and a dragon. Bless.

Sarah and I went to see the Adam’s Family (musical) at Cranbrook School, Queens Theatre. A CODS amateur production. It may have been amateur but it was very, very good and totally entertaining and our local lovies must have worked incredibly hard to get this to such a high standard. Fabulous singers and performers, a remote-controlled hand, a monster under the bed… it was all here!

Very, very that sad that Liam Payne of One Direction has died at 31. The loss of a son, a father, a young life, is always awful and will have happened to so many others on the same day. Liam though was not the huge talent the media are claiming. He was a lucky 14 year old who got eaten up by the big X Factor circus and ended up famous for a few years, mainly with teens. Had Liam not won the X factor lottery, he’d probably be alive today, married, living in a little semi, working at Kwik Fit… who knows.

My choir work is a carrot constantly dangling in front of me. There’s never a feeling that I’ve reached my destination. Never. There is always something more ahead, so I just keep going. I always need loads of music for events – there’s my A list (our greatest hits, or ones I believe will be), my B list; the ones that need working on until they become a proper living and breathing thing and then there’s the D list… I’m not feeling it and it’s unlikely to ever be used. This weekend I’m pushing through with my cabaret work (Saturday cabaret is already virtually sold out), while everyone else is on new hub duty. Bodgit & Skarper are very busy. We’ve no electrics again but Glenn has been and hired a generator. It’s one hurdle after another.